


I call it Arthur

by geordi_cat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The West Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geordi_cat/pseuds/geordi_cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The press weren’t this bad when the president’s daughter had been kidnapped, but costumed superheroes and alien invasions apparently brought out the stupid in even the most respected journalists. Of course, with the kidnapping he’d been dealing with the White House press corps (a more cynical and jaded group of people he’d yet to meet), instead of the yellow journalists that were Fox news and TMZ (TMZ? Really? Wasn’t there a celebrity flashing their underwear somewhere that they need to stalk?).</p>
            </blockquote>





	I call it Arthur

             Fury had promised him. The bastard had promised him that when the Bartlett administration was out of the White House he could fade back into the shadows, lose the persona of FBI Special Agent Michael Casper and go back to being SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson. No more press conferences where he was the spokesperson for the investigation, no more briefings of civilians who kept questioning every move the Bureau made, no more speculation about whether or not they were doing enough, no more spotlight dammit!

             Bartlett was only supposed to be in office four years. One term, he’d promised his wife. When Leo McGarry convinced him to run for a second term, Coulson himself seriously considered putting a hit out on Leo (If Mrs. Bartlett didn’t beat him to it). Then came the kidnapping and he could hardly leave after that. When he finally made it back to SHIELD Fury hadn’t even looked up before passing him Clint Barton’s file. According to Fury, Barton had gone through eleven handlers in the time he’d been away. He’d also gone against orders and found himself a partner. Phil was proud of himself for the outward lack of reaction he showed.

             One didn’t “handle” Hawkeye and Black Widow so much as pass over intel and point them in a vague direction. This may have been where the other Agents went wrong. While Phil was responsible for logistics, he knew better than to tell people recruited for their skill set how to use that skill set. Sometimes the way they chose to complete the mission had him inwardly wincing, but hey, at least there was no press. Then Tony Stark got kidnapped. Well, more to the point, Tony Stark came back from being kidnapped and Fury decided someone needed to keep an eye on him and his shiny new suit. Phil wondered if this was punishment for something he’d done in a past life.

             “I am Iron Man.”

             Long years of friendship aside, Phil was going to slaughter Nick Fury.

             Next, New Mexico and Thor. Luckily Norse deities were beyond even the most yellow of journalist’s expectations and none of the press showed up for the party.

             After that, Fury’d handed him the files for the Avengers Initiative. Bastard. He knew about Phil’s obsession with Captain America. But it still was behind the scene stuff, quietly go and talk to people (or threaten to Taser them) out of sight, no press. After all, the entire Initiative hinged on finding Captain America, something Howard Stark hadn’t been able to do in almost fifty years of searching. When the call came to say they’d found a body Phil figured that was the end of it. No living Captain America, no Avengers Initiative. Back to the shadows for Phil.

              The man was alive. Phil nearly cried.

              Captain Rogers was hanging onto his sanity with fingernails and fatalism. He was in no shape to be exposed to the idiocy that was the 21st century Fourth Estate. Better to keep his existence a secret until he was better able to deal with life in general. It was decided no press conferences. Yet.

               Then, in rapid succession, came the Tesseract, Loki, Barton taken, Banner, Stark (goddamn Stark), Thor, and the Helicarrier invasion where Barton came back. He's told that after that came the portal, the Chitauri, the Battle of New York and Stark saving the world. He was a bit busy trying not to die.

               After dying and being brought back to life (Tahiti – it’s a wonderful place. Wait, what?), Phil was pleased to be offered a shadow team. Finally Fury was following through on that promise from so long ago, no press, no fanfare, back into the shadows for Agent Coulson.

                First mission – Rising Tide hacker, explosions, super-soldier implants, mayhem, and finally a showdown with snipers and speeches at a train station.

                And YouTube.

                So much for the shadows.

                (Fuck).

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from a scene in "A Hard Day's Night" and is an example of how Phil wishes he could deal with the press.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl9k3gL6vxw


End file.
